Holidays are the time of year you look forward to getting together with family and friends!
Laughing, reminiscing, eating good food, and making amazing memories!
But what happens when there is a narcissist that always shows up to holiday events?
If you are wondering what the signs of a narcissist are, read the article, “What Is a Narcissist? Breaking down What Narcissism Really Is”.
Do you find yourself dreading holidays? Sometimes, you even have anxiety as the event gets closer and closer!
You find yourself thinking about everything that WILL go wrong.
But why?! Because narcissists love to ruin holidays!
Here are some key reasons narcissists always ruin holidays.
1.) Narcissists always have to be the center of attention
A narcissist looks forward to get-together because is supplies them with the thing they love the most – ATTENTION!
Their self-obsession knows no bounds. They will seek to get attention, no matter what it takes.
Perhaps they have a charismatic and outgoing personality that people like in the beginning! At first, they may seem like the life of the party!
But little by little, people will start to notice the undertone of selfishness and excess need for attention.
They may hijack conversations and incessantly talk about themselves. Their conversations are full of “I”, “my”, and “me”!
When someone changes the conversation, the narcissist is quick to interrupt (even mid-sentence), so they can turn the attention back onto themselves.
They may fake an interest in your conversation for a moment, but will ultimately guide the conversation back to #1!
If they aren’t getting enough attention, they may start sulking and pouting.
Sometimes, people KNOW to avoid the narcissist. Once they realize that no one wants to spend time with them, they may throw a pity party.
Sitting in the corner, arms crossed, glaring at people as they walk by.
Or perhaps they will conjure up some tears, so someone will take pity on them and come over and ask what is wrong.
The narcissist is completely OK with ruining everyone else’s holiday fun, as long as it brings attention back to them!
They may use this event to spread some stories, guilt-trip people, create drama, and victimize themselves.
As long as the narcissist leaves the event feeling like they got ATTENTION, they don’t care whether they ruined everyone else’s experience.
They came for the narcissistic supply!
2.) Narcissists Use Holidays to Gather & Spread the Latest Gossip
Holiday settings are the perfect way for a narcissist to spread rumors and pick up the latest gossip.
“Did you hear what she said about you? She may not have meant it badly, but is certainly sounded rude!”
“I didn’t know that this happened to you! I’m not sure if you meant for everyone to know, but I found out from her. Just awful!”
“I’m sorry that you are suffering financially. Your aunt told me all about it!”
Spreading stories and pitting people against each other creates drama and excitement for the narcissist.
They spin a web of lies and deceit around their victims, so they can sit back and enjoy the dysfunction and chaos that they created.
They fuel the fire of division by continuously spreading rumors and gossip from one person to another.
Related Article: Why It’s Okay to Cut Toxic Family Members Out of Your Life
3.) There are always strings attached With Narcissists
The narcissist doesn’t give you a gift or their attention for no reason!
There are always strings attached to everything they do!
One tactic that narcissists often use is called “love bombing“.
Love bombing is characterized by excessive giving of gifts, flattery, tokens of affection, special treatment, etc.
This tactic is used to impress someone new (fresh narcissistic supply) or to get back into the “good graces” of someone that has distanced themselves from them.
Sometimes, the narcissist will use these opportunities to love bomb someone in front of someone else ON PURPOSE to incite jealousy or insecurity.
The narcissist never does anything “just because”.
There is always a reason – and it comes back to making themselves look or feel better.
Related Article: 7 Best Ways to Starve a Narcissist
4.) Narcissists are the King/Queen of Disappearances
If they don’t feel like they are getting enough attention, the narcissist will disappear!
It doesn’t matter if it is YOUR special day! If the moment isn’t about the narcissist, they have no reason to be there.
They don’t care if you are deeply disappointed or hurt by their leaving.
Celebrating your big day or achievement will take the attention away from them.
In fact, the celebration of others actually makes the narcissist jealous, envious, and resentful of you!
Sometimes the narcissist will disappear, so everyone will wonder where they went. This way, they can still be the center of attention.
They may conjure up a story about an awful headache or sickness, so they can get some sympathetic attention. Any kind of attention is their #1 goal!
5.) Narcissists Create an Environment of Misery and Negativity
The narcissist doesn’t even have to try! Their default setting is misery!
Everywhere they go, they project their insecurities and negativity onto other people.
They love to ruin a person’s joy, plant seeds of doubt in their mind, instill insecurity, spread negativity, talk behind people’s backs, look for the down-side of everything, and judge everyone around them.
A narcissist can NEVER be trusted! It is in their nature to lie, manipulate, and guilt-trip.
The narcissist might impress you the first time or two that you are around them.
But little by little, you’ll find yourself dreading the next time you have to be around them. This is why they ruin holidays!
Holidays are suppose to be fun and enjoyable times! But a narcissist can turn the happiest of times into a miserable and negative experience.
If you want a good time, ignore them at all costs!
Related Article: 7 Steps to Successfully Remove Toxic People from Your Life
6.) Narcissists Are Skilled at Making Manipulative Side Comments
“Wow, someone’s gained weight! Just kidding!”
“Funny, I always thought you would be the successful one! Hahaha!”
“Well, someone is showing off! Mr. Money Bags. Maybe you can help a person out!”
“Oh, don’t be so sensitive! I was just joking.”
“Not married yet, eh? You aren’t getting any younger!”
Narcissists are brilliant at wording simple sentences in the most manipulative, toxic, and hurtful way possible.
But it is done in a way that they can blow it off as a “joke” if they are confronted about their toxic behavior.
At holidays, if the narcissist perceives that you are “better than them” or you make them feel insecure or jealous, they will target you with passive-aggressive comments.
They WANT you to feel insecure. They want to ruin your holiday experience. Because if they can’t be happy, nobody should be happy!
Related Article: 11 Things Narcissists Say to Manipulate You
7.) If Necessary, Narcissists Will Make a Big Dramatic Scene
When all else fails, the narcissist will play the victim!
The guilt-tripping, gaslighting, blame shifting, victimization, and anger issues are on display.
Oh and the tears! (Most common in female narcissists.)
When the narcissist knows that rage won’t portrait them in a good light, they’ll use big huge crocodile tears!
They’ll act like someone has just hurt them deeply and make a scene that will be remembered for holidays to come.
It doesn’t matter who they humiliate, as long as they make themselves the center of attention, all is good in the world.
After all, what is a holiday event if they can’t get a whole bunch of attention and narcissistic supply?!
- 7 Best Ways to Starve a Narcissist
- 11 Things Narcissists Say to Manipulate You
- 13 Signs You Are in a Relationship with a Narcissist
- 11 Mental Abuse Tactics to Watch out For
- Why It’s Okay to Cut Toxic Family Members Out of Your Life