Do you remember back in the beginning of your relationship when you were giddy with happiness?
You couldn’t wait to see each other, talk, text, hold hands, kiss, snuggle up, and just spend quality time together. You couldn’t imagine being any happier!
Then something changed. The environment in your relationship shifted.
Is it lack of effort, boredom, unrealistic expectations, lack of communication, or sheer laziness?
Whatever the case is, you don’t feel the happiness anymore. And you want it back badly!
Below are 9 little hacks on how to bring the happiness back into your relationship again.
1.) Learn Your Partner’s Love Language
This is my all-time favorite piece of relationship advice!
You absolutely need to know your partner’s love language! (Take this test to find out yours.)
To sum it up, we all feel loved in different ways. The 5 most essential ways are through physical touch, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts, and words of affirmation.
Of course we love all these things! But usually, one or two of these things mean more to you than the others.
Do you absolutely love holding hands and snuggling up together? Do you love it when your partner does some household chores? Or would you prefer them to bring you home a lovely gift? Or perhaps you love it when they tell you how much you mean to them.
See how each of these “love languages” may mean more to one person than another?
Find out each of your love languages here.
2.) Put Your Electronic Devices Away
Two things that negatively effect many millennial (and non-millennial) relationships are as follows: cellphones and gaming systems.
When you are together, do you just sit there on your phones? Or perhaps one of you is an avid gamer, leaving the other person sitting there bored and annoyed.
Get off your screens and look at each other!
Talk, go and enjoy the outdoors together, play a non-electronic game, or bake something in the kitchen.
At least make a rule that you can’t have your electronic devices out for a certain period of time. This way, at least you’ll get in a small amount of quality time that will help to keep you bonded.
3.) Set some goals – together
Creating the same goals is a very bonding experience.
You could both set fitness goals – eating healthy and/or working out. Perhaps you could create a budget together (or separately) and actually stick to it! Or maybe you could take a class together – something you have both been nervous to try. (aka dance, a tennis, painting, cooking, etc.)
Whatever goals you decide to set for yourself, try to involve your partner as well!
You will keep each other accountable, while bringing a sense of purpose and happiness back into your relationship.
Related Article: 7 Habits of Couples Who Are Deeply Connected To Each Other
4.) Get out of the boredom rut!
We all have this bad habit of falling into an unhealthy “comfort zone” in our relationships.
Nothing exciting ever happens because we no longer try to make it exciting!
Remember those spontaneous dates and unexpected gifts!
Remember the effort you put in back in the beginning of your relationship – just because you wanted to see your significant other smile?
Well you stopped – and everything is really boring now!
Be creative! Having fun can cost very little (or nothing).
Look up some fun date ideas on Pinterest. You will find dozens of suggestions!
Climbing back out of the boredom rut takes some effort, but you can do it. Finding your happiness again is worth it!
Related Article: 7 Ways to Know If Your Relationship Is Meant to Last
5.) Celebrate Your Partner
Make a big deal out of the little things.
Big things only happen once or twice a year – and you both deserve to be celebrated more often than that!
Celebrate each other when you hit a goal.
Maybe you hit a goal at work or lost the first 5 lb. of your weight loss journey. Perhaps you had a really bad day or are feeling super low.
Go out and celebrate being together, being alive, having an amazing day, or having a really bad day.
Think about it. You are probably the biggest supporter that your partner has. If you aren’t there to make a big deal of them, who is?
BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE YOU!
Celebrate them and make them feel appreciated and loved.
Related Article: 9 Habits of Couples Who Stay In Love
6.) Brag About Them
Everyone brags about their partner in the beginning!
You want all your friends to know what an amazing person you are dating.
Did you stop? Did the bragging slowly die down? Maybe it even got replaced with negative stories and complaining.
Talking behind your partner’s back is a major relationship problem that needs to stop.
Start bragging about them again! Let the world know that you are so proud to be “their person” and that you want to shout it from the rooftops!
Gush about them, talk about their accomplishments, and brag about what a wonderful person they are. (Just make sure to be honest).
When you know that your partner talks positively about you to others, it builds a sense of security and trust in your relationship.
And when a relationship has security and trust, this translates into a happiness and contentment that nothing can replace.
Related Article: 9 Signs You Can’t Trust Your Partner
7.) Admit when you are wrong
Don’t be childish! You are sometimes wrong – just like everyone else in the world.
One bad, narcissistic habit that can take the happiness out of any relationship is when a partner always claims to be right.
It is like they don’t know how to say the words, “I’m sorry, I was wrong.”
This builds resentment and bitterness in the heart of the person they are in a relationship with.
I don’t care if it was the smallest thing – like claiming to know a historical fact or making a fun bet with your partner. If you are wrong, own it!
Stop making excuses or claiming that your source was incorrect – just say, “I was wrong!” And if an apology is necessary, do it!
Never jeopardize your relationship’s happiness for the sake of your self-image or pride.
Related Article: 11 Signs You Are in a Relationship with a Narcissist
8.) Write Each Other a Letter
Sit down with your partner and ask them to write a letter of the things they want in your relationship.
A letter is in writing and will be remembered, while a conversation can be easily forgotten.
Chances are that they have an expectation or need that isn’t being met.
When you read this letter, don’t take it personally! And when you write the letter, don’t be mean.
Remember, you are writing it to the person you love. Be sincere and honest, but be kind.
Related Article: 10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Significant Other
9.) Learn the art of Conflict Resolution
This is KEY to every happy relationship.
Everyone solves problems a different way and you have to learn what works for you!
Perhaps your spouse is loud and dramatic. Or perhaps they get very quiet and unresponsive when they are upset at you. Or maybe they are direct, stern, and unrelenting.
You have to realize that your spouse is very different from you and they need a chance to have their opinion heard in a respectful manner – even if you think they are completely wrong!
Perhaps you feel the need to talk it out immediately! Or maybe you need to “sit on it” for a while, and think it over.
You and your partner will have to learn whether this method works for you or not.
However, the key is to not disregard it for too long. Talk it through, work at it, and find some common ground.
Related Article: 7 Ways to Know If Your Relationship Is Meant to Last
Every single relationship has its ups and downs.
The “honeymoon phase” doesn’t last forever – and I’m glad that it doesn’t!
Although it is wonderful, the honeymoon phase (the early part) of every relationship is usually full of unrealistic expectations, a facade of perfection, and immaturity.
However, it can also be full of effort – on both sides!
What follows this phase involves a deeper love and understanding of each other. You learn to appreciate who your partner is and learn to forgive their shortcomings.
If you feel like the happiness is dwindling, try to remember back to the early days and the things that warmed your heart.
In the end, all you can do is put in the effort on a daily basis.