Most men LOVE a confident woman!
…at least the men of any substance do.
A confident, self-assured woman approaches a relationship very differently than someone who lacks self-esteem.
She sets herself apart from the rest – in the way she carries herself, demands respect without having to state it, and knows what she wants, never changing her standards for anyone!
Easier said than done, right!?
Always know that if you struggle with confidence, you can always start taking steps to appear more confident on the outside.
The crazy thing about confidence is that it often works from the outside-in! When you appear self-confident, people will treat you differently (in a good way).
Many times, as you are treated with more respect and dignity, you will start to become more self-assured internally.
All you need to do is take this new-found confidence into your relationships! Remember, to find what you need, you have to overcome your insecurities and know your value!
Below are 9 things confident women do differently in relationships.
1.) They Don’t Hover
…constantly texting, calling, stalking on social media, etc.
You are valuable.
You do not need to stay in constant contact with him to make sure that you stay on his mind!
This may sound old-school and traditional, but it isn’t your job to make the relationship work. Stop trying so hard!
It is in a man’s nature to want to pursue a girl. And it isn’t a bad thing for him to want to take the lead in the relationship!
Every single good man I have talked to has said that he was turned off by a girl who seemed needy and overly-communicative.
DON’T GET ME WRONG! One of a woman’s top 5 needs in a relationship is COMMUNICATION!
But if you are constantly texting and checking in with your new love-interest, it may scare him off.
Of course it’s OK to contact him! As the relationship progresses, all this ‘over-thinking’ should go away.
But in the beginning, check yourself. You are valuable and you are worth pursuing.
If he doesn’t realize that and isn’t willing to put in the work, he probably isn’t worth your time.
Related Article: The 5 Things Men Want Most from a Wife
2.) They Know When To Say “No!”
It is in the nature of a woman to be kind, caring, and sensitive to the needs of others.
It is wonderful to be this way!
However, it is incredibly important to not allow yourself to be a push-over and a ‘Yes Woman’ just because you have a kind nature!
This is a very important quality to bring into a new relationship.
If you are dating someone who likes to push the limits, you will absolutely need to know when to push back – never compromising your standards!
This may sound weird, but if you struggle turning people down, you need to practice!
If you are asked to volunteer, take on a new project, go out on a busy night, or do something that you are hesitant about – start saying, “No, I won’t be able to at this time.”
You don’t need to explain yourself. You just need to kindly and firmly decline.
Once you become comfortable with saying, “No”, you will find it a lot easier to ‘stick to your guns’ in a relationship.
NEVER…let me repeat NEVER allow the person you are dating to convince you to do something you don’t want to do or know is wrong.
Read this article my husband wrote about dating from a man’s perspective. If you’re dating a bad guy, he will show his true colors eventually!
Related Article: 15 Successful Characteristics of a Classy Woman
3.) They Don’t Play ‘Hard to Get’
This game is for children!
If you like to play ‘hard to get’, you’re acting like you’re still in high school.
If you have the attention and affection of a good man, WHY would you ever want to make him feel like you could do better?
A wise, kind, mature, and committed man will NOT want to play around with a woman who is acting like an immature teenager.
One minute you like him, the next minute you don’t. Stop playing this teasing game!
A confident woman knows that she is valuable and that she doesn’t have to play cat-and-mouse to get the attention of a man.
If you like him, don’t be scared to show it.
You can show your feelings in a confident way. If he doesn’t return them, that is OK. (It is never easy, but you can always power through emotions)
Playing hard to get is a risky strategy! You risk making a good man feel like his attentions are not returned.
Related Article: 9 Red Flags to Be Aware of in a New Relationship
4.) They Apologize When They Are Wrong
You are a real-life person and you make mistakes!
Stop making excuses or pretending your mistakes don’t mean anything.
If you are wrong, apologize! It is such a powerful part of every successful relationship.
If you always try to explain your way out of an apology, you are creating a toxic habit that could damage your relationship.
Just try it! Say, “I’m sorry, I was wrong.” Then let them know how you were wrong and ask if they will accept your apology.
Accepting responsibility for your mistakes can make a world of difference in your relationship.
Related Article: 10 Signs Your Relationship Has Communication Problems
5.) They Don’t Keep Score
Do you feel like you need to play tit for tat?
- If he doesn’t text you back right away, you don’t text him back.
- If you have a disagreement, you give him the silent treatment.
- You throw a past problem in his face during an argument.
Sometimes, you are going to have to show grace and forgiveness when your partner hurts you.
When you forgive someone, you don’t throw what they did back in their face at a later date!
However, forgiveness doesn’t mean that you forget what they did!
If you are dating someone who does something hurtful and you forgive him, it doesn’t give him permission to do it again!
Don’t allow yourself to get used and run-over by your partner.
But if you ‘keep score’ with your partner, you will allow resentment and frustration to become a major part of your relationship.
6.) They Don’t Lose Their Identify
In a relationship, men can often have a dominating effect.
This isn’t a bad thing! It is in many men’s nature to take the lead in the direction the relationship is going.
Everything from asking you out on the first date to asking you to marry him!
Being in love is amazing! But it is very easy to lose yourself in all the feelings.
You put your previous priorities, commitments, and friendships on hold and devote 100% of your energy to your new love interest.
Big huge mistake!
You need to realize that you are separate entities.
You can become a team and work towards the same goals, but you absolutely need to maintain your sense of self!
Being independent and self-reliant in a relationship isn’t a bad thing! Your partner can be a wonderful part of your life, but they shouldn’t consume every part of you.
Maintain your old friendships. Stay close with loving family members. Keep up your favorite hobbies.
Perhaps your relationship won’t last and you may find yourself alone and confused.
On a brighter note, if your partner is a good man, he won’t want you to change who you are.
He should support you and your goals!
7.) They Don’t Tolerate Immature Foolishness
If your man is doing these things, he is not worth your time!
- Flirting with other people
- Being overly protective of his phone
- Treating you differently in public
- Making you doubt your dreams
- Treating you like a child
- Embarrassing you in public
If you’re in a relationship with someone who does any of these things, RUN!
More than likely, he put on the charm in the beginning. But now, he is showing his true colors.
If you find that he is becoming increasingly toxic, you may want to consider the possibility that he is a narcissist.
In this case, leave immediately. You can’t change him, but he certainly can harm you – mentally!
8.) They Don’t Compare Their Relationship To Others
Do you find yourself admiring other people’s relationships on social media?
“Wow, I wish my boyfriend took me on dates like that!”
“Did you see the size of her engagement ring?”
“I wish he bought me flowers like that.”
Most people put their best face forward on social media. You don’t see their dirty dishes or the disagreements.
All you see is the romantic gestures, flowers, staged kisses, and laughter – the highlights!
When you start to compare your relationship to the moments you see on social media, you are forgetting that their life is probably much more like yours than you are lead to believe.
You don’t have your life or their partner.
Step back and admire all the amazing qualities that your man has! Stop comparing him to the other men out there. It is disrespectful!
Loyalty, trust, and forgiveness are three “real love” qualities that can never be shown in a picture.
Related Article: 9 Red Flags to Be Aware of in a New Relationship
9.) They Don’t Act Jealous
What do you have to be jealous about?
You are awesome!
If you let your insecurity take control, it will make you compare yourself to other girls (past girlfriends and the current women in his life).
It will make you feel like other women are the enemy – when in reality, they could be fun and supportive friends!
On the other hand, he should NEVER encourage your jealousy.
Your boyfriend should make you feel secure in the relationship – and never make you feel like you are competing with another woman for his attention!
If he is purposefully trying to make you jealous, dump him!
You don’t need this kind of loser in your life.
Be confident! Know your value and stop comparing yourself to other women!
No one is like you and you can never be like them.
Remember, confidence is sexy!
- 9 Easy Ways Women Can Project Confidence
- 9 Red Flags to Be Aware of in a New Relationship
- 10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Significant Other
Remember, confidence doesn’t always start on the inside. Sometimes, you’ve got to practice on external confidence first! (Read this article)
Know that you are valuable! Know that you will be irreplaceable to someone.
Don’t lower your standards for anyone! Self confidence is a big part of that.