Oh, the romantic concept of meeting your soulmate!
The idea that there is one person out there that you were destine to be with! You were born for each other and will complete each other.
Although some women don’t believe in ‘soulmates’, you can’t deny that there are some men that you simply ‘click’ with more than others.
Have you met someone and thought (at one point) that he was ‘The One’? But now, you are wondering if you are wrong?
You are questioning yourself and starting to see aspects of him that you didn’t see before. Are you really meant to be?
Below are 11 signs that he’s not your soulmate.
1.) You Just Don’t Communicate Well
Every relationship therapist will tell you, communication is the cornerstone to a successful relationship!
If you don’t communicate well, things aren’t going to go the way you planned.
Perhaps you’ve talked about communicating better, but he just doesn’t seem to even try.
He is comfortable with his life and would rather ‘ride out’ the tough times, than take the time to sit down and talk through your differences.
Communication is all about connection! If he isn’t willing put in the work to communicate with you, you absolutely need to point this out.
Make sure that he knows that communication is one of the things women need most in a relationship. (For some men, communication doesn’t come naturally.)
If he still isn’t willing to put in the work, things probably aren’t meant to be.
Related Article: 10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Significant Other
2.) You See Signs That You Can’t Trust Him
If you can’t trust your man, there is a 99.9% chance your relationship is doomed.
If you always have that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach that he is doing something behind your back, you need to address it immediately!
First, you need to identify if you are simply a suspicious and overly-jealous person. There is a chance it is YOU and not him.
However, if he keeps giving you reasons to doubt his words and actions, you need to confront your feelings.
Perhaps you feel like he doesn’t have your best interest in mind or that he has a cheating problem.
Maybe he is hiding his finances with you because he is careless and foolish with money.
Whatever your suspicions are, you need to communicate them!
3.) You Don’t Share a Sense of Humor
Laughter is a wonderful part of life!
If you don’t find him funny and he doesn’t get your jokes, maybe he’s just not right for you!
Maybe you have a dry sense of humor and he has a sarcastic sense of humor. He doesn’t laugh at your jokes and you find his jokes overly judgmental and hurtful.
Perhaps you are from different cultures and the cultural differences separate you from ‘clicking’ in this area.
Although it sounds crazy, a sense of humor can actually divide a couple!
If you find yourself being frustrated by his lack of personality and humor, you may not be with the right person.
Related Article: 7 Surprising Things That Can Hurt Your Relationship
4.) You Don’t Have Common Values
In the beginning, you probably thought you could overlook the differences in values.
Below are several common value problems in relationships:
- One prefers a simple life, while the other wants wealth & status
- One is an evolutionist, while the other is a creationist
- One is Christian, while the other is an Atheist
- One sees divorce as an option, while the other is vehemently against it
- One is adamant about absolute honesty, while the other thinks its OK to tell a ‘white lie’
- One wants children, while the other wants total freedom
- One wants both spouse’s to work, while the other wants to stay at home once they have children
- One person is a giver, while the other has miserly tendencies
You get the point!
Each person brings different values to the relationship. Both of you were brought up differently and won’t align of everything!
But if your values are so different from your partner’s that you find yourself worrying and fretting, you may be with the wrong person.
Imagine bringing children into the world and confusing them with your different ideas on life. You are telling them one thing, while your partner is telling them the complete opposite.
If you are truly with your soulmate, you will be able to have a shared vision and aligned value system.
Related Article: The 10 Most Important Questions To Ask Before Getting Married
5.) You aren’t attracted to him
Fact: Men are more visual than women.
A woman can fall in love with a man’s vision for life, kindness, gentleness, security, and the way he treats her.
Men can fall in love with similar character traits, however they absolutely need to be physically attracted to the person they are with.
If you don’t believe me, here is a list of things men want most in a wife.
BUT, that is the person you are going to wake up to for the rest of your life. You are going to introduce that person to all the important people in your life. You are probably going to make babies with that person!
Girl, you absolutely need to be attracted to them in some way! This isn’t shallow – it is a fact!
Do you love his eyes? Do you swoon over his smile? Is his personality infectious and hilarious?
Or whenever you look at him, do you see someone that you could never be attracted to (even if he is a nice person.)
If you have ZERO attraction for him, he probably isn’t your soulmate.
6.) He Doesn’t Seem Interested in The Future
Does he have visions and a dream?
If he does, do they include you?
If you are with your soulmate, he will want to make futuristic plans with you!
No, he won’t talk about you having children together on the first date! But he will be serious about his intentions for keeping you in his life – permanently.
Or, maybe you are a go-getter and have amazing goals for your life…while he is happy with where he is and doesn’t have any plans to improve himself or his life.
These two approaches to life may be a dividing point in your relationship.
Although it is completely find for you to have different goals, it may be a source of frustration when you see your partner as lazy and unfocused.
You each need to fulfill your personal goals. However, make sure that you can fit the other person into your life’s plans.
If you can’t, you may be with the wrong person.
Related Article: 9 Red Flags to Be Aware of in a New Relationship
7.) You Picture Yourself With Someone Else
When you are with your soulmate, you know you are meant to be!
You connect on a deeper level – one you’ve never experienced before.
If you have truly found ‘The One’, you can’t imagine yourself being with someone else!
Do you find yourself wishing you weren’t in the relationship, so you could get back out into the ‘dating game’?
This is a BIG RED FLAG!
You absolutely need to address these feelings. You cannot carry these concerns into your relationship and expect it to last.
It isn’t fair to you and it certainly isn’t fair to him!
Sit back and picture your life without him. Does that make you feel happy or uncontrollably sad?
If you are truly with your soulmate, you wouldn’t be able to picture yourself with anyone else.
Related Article: 11 Signs You Are Way Too Good for Someone
8.) You Don’t Feel Secure
Security comes in three parts: financial security, physical protection, and relationship commitment.
First, is he responsible with finances?
If you marry someone who is foolish with money, this can devastate both of your financial records!
Make sure that you both align on your financial goals and spending habits.
Secondly, a man can bring a sense of physical protection to a woman’s life that makes her feel very cared for and loved.
This comes very naturally to most men! The intense desire to protect their family.
No, this doesn’t come in the form of jealousy. It comes from his instinct to make you feel cared for, loved and protected by him.
Thirdly, do you feel like you are both equally committed to the relationship?
Do you trust him? Are you all-in when it comes to staying in the relationship? Do you feel like he might be a cheater?
You absolutely need to be in a committed relationship if you want things to last.
If you are with your soulmate, these 3 things will align. It isn’t too much to ask at all!
Related Article: 7 Ways to Know If Your Relationship Is Meant to Last
9.) You Aren’t Yourself Around Him
Do your friends or family notice you are changing?
Do you find yourself making excuses like, “They are making me a better person!” or “I am finally my real self when I am around them.”
Perhaps these things are true. But there is a very good chance that you are just making excuses for the fact that you aren’t with your soulmate!
If you can’t completely relax and be unguarded with you him, you may not be in the right relationship.
This does take time. It is normal to try to be the best version of your self and keep your guard up in the beginning stages of your relationship.
But if you find yourself never really being your true self, you may not be with your soulmate.
You should feel unguarded and understood! You just ‘get each other’ and the environment of your relationship is not judgmental in any way.
10.) Everyone Thinks You’re the Perfect Couple – But You Have Doubts
Sometimes, the perception of others can be a driving force in making you feel like you are with your soulmate.
“You guys are the perfect couple!” “You were both meant to be!” “Ohhhh, I wish I could find a man like yours. You have the perfect life!”
You can be with someone who looks perfect from the outside, but something just isn’t right.
Your heart never feels satisfied or contented and your mind is telling you, “You should be ecstatic right now! You are with your soulmate!” But you know this isn’t the case.
Don’t let the perceptions of others keep you from acknowledging the truth.
You are the only person that can answer this question. Are you 100% committed to this person because they are your soulmate?
Related Article: 7 Habits of Couples Who Are Deeply Connected To Each Other
11.) You’ve Got a ‘Gut Feeling’
Trust the gut! No one knows better than you.
You may feel like you are head over heels in love, but you can never shake that weird feeling in the pit of your stomach. Something just isn’t right.
Maybe he hasn’t done anything wrong, but you just don’t see yourself with him for the rest of your life.
Or maybe you are starting to see signs that they aren’t the person you thought they were.
Don’t let your significant other convince you that you are overthinking it.
Maybe his stories don’t quite line up, he is acting slightly different, or you simply notice a difference in the atmosphere of the relationship.
That good old ‘gut feeling’ has saved many people from damaging relationships. Listen to your gut!
Eventually, you are going to have to confront those feelings. Whether it is something you are feeling or something he is doing, it needs to be addressed!
It is normal to have relationship jitters – especially in the beginning.
But when you are with your soulmate, things should feel natural and contented.
Whether you believe in the concepts of soulmates or not, it is only human nature to want to find someone to spend the rest of your life with.
If you are currently dating someone, but have questions about your future, look over the 11 signs above.
If you are with the right person, you won’t feel this way. You will feel happy satisfied in your committed relationship.